Snowing again!� Easter is in two days and we now have 9-10" of new snow!� I'm sore from soveling-but it was great excercise.
Still trying to figure things out.� One conclusion of come to is that I get angry too easily!� I take after my father, he would get angry at everything (only took it out on inanimate objects) and we all new to stay out of his way!� I've always had his temper-but as a teen-ager I learned how to control it.� Somehow I've lost some of that control, or have to learn to readjust-fine tune it to include the stresses of family, work, life!� I need to gfigure it out-because I see the say temper in my children -especially my daughter.� And I need to be able to show them that it can be controlled!�
Well, My crazy life..I don't know how to fit it all into a little inboxjournal.com entry! lol.� I'm just starting this whole online journal thing..so if i mess up..o well (=
Today there is no school.. y-a-w-n (=� I plan 2 go 2 the mall today with my great friend and then go see a movie.. btw..i like Girlee movees.. (=
<3 has been a roller coaster for me Wednesday and Thurday...Idk whats going on.. My "bf" Is like ignoring me and everything was great monday and tueday but Im not sure )=
I want a normal life maybe Once a month..everything is just so crammed together..no time 2 sleep..I want like a week off..BUT good news..easter break is coming up soon..but wanna no whats Gay?!?!?!?� Its not till 2 weeks arg..when all da other schools are like this week or next week...my skewl has probs >.<
Its crazy how rumors go around SO fast..like everyday i hear a new rumor bout someone being Lez or Bi or Going out or Breaking a bone or breaking up etc.. and it gets PRETTY frikken annoyin' lol.
I havent mentioned God yet, and i apologize bcz God is a HUGE part of my life! He has helped me so much and helped me get through my pre-teenage monster years! >.< hes really guiding me the right way in life.. (= Well i will talk to ya'll l8tr.. lol.
Byes <3
-Confused
I wish I had someone to tell this stuff to.
�But you can't say these you things. not out loud.. not to people who love you.� They will just be hurt, so you say nothing.
�But how I am meant to resolve it if I don't ever talk about it, or admit it?
�My inability to go out, to use the phone, to rarely be able to communicate more than a sentance online.. these things are real.� They are limiting.� They are things that much as I am striving to change, are something I can not ignore.� Plus, as bad as these things are to live with, they come with an associated cost that just makes it even worse.
�It costs me the people I love.� Because they don't understand.� They think I don't bother. That I haven't bothered.� The fact that I have pushed beyond my limits to make as much contact as I have is meaningless. Because it's not enough.� It never will be enough.
�And I am irrelevent.
Friday night, Stacey writes:
As many of you know Julie and I are working in the province of Qinghai, which is directly above Tibet. A large percentage of the population in Qinghai is Tibetan. We have been informed of the riots in Lhasa and the surrounding provinces, which include Qinghai. The latest news on the riots can be found in this AP article: http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5h5Z6bJwtN_roGSIUQiQnfbf2NkhgD8VF3DBO0
Nothing has really occurred here in Xining. Some small riots have broken out in areas approximately 3 hours away from us. We have been staying safe though by always being accompanied by CDC officials. We usually travel to the countryside during the day and return to the capital city of Xining by nightfall. On one of our trips out to the countryside we saw lines of army trucks being transported to Lhasa. It was pretty intense. Julie and I asked the locals about how they felt about the Tibetan riots. Most of them felt that it was wrong for the Tibetans to cause such violence. When asked about why China won’t let Tibet be independent, they said, “Tibet is one of China’s children, would you let your children run off on its own? If one of your American states wanted to be its own county, would the US let it?” I am personally shocked that the Tibetan would protest in such a violent manner. I thought the whole idea behind Buddhism was peace. I mean I agree you should protest for change, but violence really isn’t the right tool to use. Due to the conditions, Julie and I are planning on wrapping everything up in the next two weeks. We have been really focused on getting everything done in the last two weeks. As of right now we have already finished personally teaching at 12 schools, each school 2 times. We assessed the kids HBV knowledge before and after the education classes and the results show 90%HBV comprehension rate. This is really great because it proves that the education program that we have developed is effective! Now we are going to survey some other schools where we did not personally teach at. At those schools the teachers utilized out materials and curriculum to teach their own kids. We are hoping that they have at least an 80% HBV comprehension rate. �
I still have not emotionally processed what has happened recently.�
I don't know how I feel about the funeral yesterday, much less anything else.
I do know that when I got in the car to leave H's this morning I broke down in tears.� It was a good 10 mins before I could regain enough self control to be able to drive.� And on the way back to my folks house, the tears didn't stop.
I don't really know or understand why I was crying - I just needed to cry.� It seems my emotions are behaving healthily on some level, even if my brain is able to process nothing.
奥塞罗综合症
�
最近跟敦敦一起研究莎翁的戏剧, 读到奥塞罗, 对‘妒嫉’这个人类最原始的情感有了进一步的了解. 人这一辈子不能没有爱, 大家都本能地捍卫自己的感情领土. 嫉妒是由爱而生. 爱和恨离的也不远. 所谓爱愈深, 妒愈重, 恨愈切. 所以聪明的男人女人们应该学会把感情的收放稳定在一个可控的范围里。
搞统计的都知道有一个估计方法叫‘百分之九十五的可信区间’，也就是大部分的人的感情落在这个可接受的范围里，太多或太少，就会出问题，你的爱付出太多，爱和被爱都很累。付出的太少，自然让对方感到心理不平衡。
一转眼老鼠的生日就到了, 今年是我家老鼠的本命年, 老鼠一年到头埋头苦干，辛勤耕耘，确实付出了很多，看到老牛没完没了地吻光吃不做的小猫乐肥，不禁嫉火中烧，老鼠愤言：好赖我是一家之主，它不过是个宠物，你花在宠物身上的心思多过照顾我的情绪。为了让老鼠平衡，年前，我一口气给老鼠买了三个红裤头. 连我自己也惊讶，我竟会把这么乡气的东西买回家. 但愿能提醒老鼠在上半场的冲杀过后，下半场开场之前，保持身心平衡，不要跟乐肥过不去，家和万事兴，还有啥比平安更重要的呢？
March 20, 2008 - 11 Months with Guillian Barre'
Rehab is going well for Ron.� He can raise his arms now which is a great accomplishment.� He still has no movement in his extremities but we continue to have hope for his healing.� Please know that your visits mean so much to Ron.� It helps with the passing of time and also keeps him abreast of�what is going on.� Thank you for again for your prayers, cards and words of encouragement.� May each of you have BLESSED Easter!
Goodbye.
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ronowen 70, Male, Texas, USA - 114 entries
